Don’t Forget the Family

one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); I Timothy 3:4-5 NKJV

In this case, he is someone who desires the office of overseer (verse 1). That is a noble task to aspire to. It is difficult in our time. Our society has become so individualized that everyone wants to establish their own little kingdom—both at home and in the church. This, combined with fundamentalism and a lack of spiritual insight, is a major factor behind many divisions. It is important to realize how crucial the family is. One way to see its importance is to notice how fiercely it is under attack. The biblical vision of family must be destroyed, and everything must be permitted. Even when a mother chooses not to start a family and kills her child—it must be celebrated as a human right. “My body, my choice.” But who, then, had authority over the little body of the child?

It is dangerous to offer Corban (a gift to God) in a way that causes the family to suffer. By this I mean the following: as a man, as a father, you are the head of the household. And if, as a father, you are constantly absent because you are busy with the Lord’s work—how then can the head of the household fulfill his role? The mother ends up taking over tasks and responsibilities that do not rightly belong to her. The pressure on the family increases, and tensions within the household rise. What kind of testimony does that give to growing children? And isn’t the Lord’s work also found within the family?

Keeping children submissive is not about tyranny; we are commanded as fathers not to provoke our children but to point them to Jesus Christ (Colossians 3:21). That guidance is not only through our words but also through our actions. That is what it means to lead your home. But if you are not there for your family because you are busy with the Lord’s work, how can you provide leadership? And how can you then care for a congregation? I have seen an overseer stumble in this very area. He pursued the work of the Lord, while his wife had to hold everything together. The tension grew. But his harshness was not only visible at home—it was also seen in the church he led. It resulted in a split. It all seemed so devout, and it is easy to be deceived by it. Thoughts like, “he has such dedication to the Lord,” come easily—but the opposite was true.

We are called to go out and testify about the Lord Jesus (Matthew 28:19). And I believe that each person is shown individually how to do that. But you can go out and forget your family—isn’t evangelism also needed there? In this time, both the physical and digital worlds bombard our children with countless influences. On social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube, algorithms work 24 hours a day to be addictive and to shape our children. Artificial intelligence takes the form of personal assistants—someone they can “always talk to.” I believe that now, more than ever, is the time to recognize the value of the family.

Despite everything, children make their own choices, and I think Job is a good example for us in that. He was a model father, and he sanctified his children (Job 1:5). I believe that was very important when they died. Love for Jesus cannot coexist with Corban. That is not good fruit. Let fathers lead their families through the Holy Spirit. His Word will not return void; it will bear fruit in His time and way. Testify about the Lord Jesus and tell your children about Him, just as the Israelites spoke of God and still do (Deuteronomy 11:18–19). All other work He will reveal to us—and then it comes down to obedience. And He is worthy to be obeyed.Praise be to the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world—and He does so also within the family.